Breakfast for One - The Challenge

I have traveled a lot in my lifetime but it has been a while since I have done the one man thing. See, Zelma is mos in China and therefore I have been doing breakfast alone downstairs with mixed results. I have forgotten the rules so I feel compelled to share it with you. The restaurant is small and buffet style (Help yourself which I hate). What is the point of eating out if you have to serve yourself, but that is my view. The first thing is to get your timing right. Miss the office workers and then the families with children. Ideally, you want to be there with the "Lonely Hearts Club". I failed badly the last 3 days.

This morning I decided 08h30 would be safer option. O my lord. Packed and looks like a family congregation. Have guts and press on, so I get coffee and wait for a table to open. Put coffee down and go get some toast and butter. Walk back, coffee gone and table now occupied by a "lovely" family of four. To early for battle so go wait for another table. Put toast and empty cup down and "run" to get eggs and some form of meat. Return quickly  finding table cleared with now another "lovely family" occupying "My" table. Broken the golden rule of breakfast alone. Do not leave the table under any circumstances. You have no one to protect your precious seat.

Now ready for battle. Get new toast and everything else I am going to need. Find  a new table and sit. Call waiter and give her a piece of my mind in a toned down voice. She offers to get me coffee and I gladly accept. Not losing my table and food again. Shit, I forgot the Walnut muffin that looked so good. Get up walk quickly and return with now a "lovely" couple sitting at my table. Are they blind dammit.

Sit down with them and eat my brekkie, and leave. Never leave the table fool. Get a waiter, child, hell anybody to fetch anything you need, but do not get up until you are finished and go at 07h00 when everyone else is sleeping.

One more thing. It is nice to get breakfast every morning, but what is with soup for breakfast. Chicken soup, Miso soup and then this morning mash and gravy. Really???? No meat dishes either, well not what I call meat. Chicken bacon (you know my view on this), chicken sausage, chicken ham and yesterday Corned "beef" that looked and tasted like canned dog food.  Where is the pork bangers, boerewors, beef sausage and heaven forbid minute steak or something.

There, I had my bitch session so have a nice day.